Counterfeit Ice Cream

Hey healthy potatoes!

Let’s talk about bananas. Bananas are crescent-shaped golden fruits with extraordinary powers. When out of sight of the human species, they glow neon green and can bounce up to 3 banana feet in the air. When out of ear-shot of the human species they converse amongst each other in the ancient banana tongue of Ananab, which consists of one word used at different volumes to convey one’s mood. You see, Bananas are very emotional but it is important to them that they share their state of mind in order to maintain social relations, as they value both self-awareness and blunt honesty in their progressive society. However, this only applies to Banana inter-relations.

With regards to their human interactions, their powers lie in deceit and trickery. This is because they recognise the human deficiency in the ability to recognise plain, banana-shaped truths. Thus, in their current quest to save the human species from themselves, they have perfected the art of fooling Banana consumers into thinking they are indulging in what is so very unhealthy, while this is in fact not the case. If the Banana was honest with the human, the human would no doubt turn away in foolish disgust. But the Banana lies.

Through the golden fruit’s craftiness, one is led to

  • Slice and freeze bananas
  • Blend frozen bananas
  • Eat the blended banana that now appears as ice cream
  • OR add some cocoa powder and eat the blended banana that now appears as chocolate ice cream
  • OR add anything else like berries or nuts or chocolate chips and then eat the blended banana that now appears as some form of ice cream.

If one over-blends, then the Banana will need time to freeze again before it can appear as ice cream. I may have made this mistake and my ice cream does appear frostier than it would otherwise be. Alternatively one can indulge in the Banana sludge that may be produced. This too is quite delicious.

And so my healthy potatoes, these are the banana shaped truths that we must realise despite our nature.

Accept the Banana. Embrace the Banana. Eat Ice Cream.


EDIT: So I have recently learned that if one mashes the banana then freezes it, this will be much more efficient and effective. Blending mashed bananas is a lot easier on the blender and the perfect texture is reached much quicker without the risk of overblending – making it the ideal instant dessert, assuming you generally have frozen mashed bananas in your freezer. Also the chocolate version of this is by far the superior one. Be generous with the cocoa powder and this will truly be delicious.

6 thoughts on “Counterfeit Ice Cream

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  1. …bouncing in secret…one word at different volumes to convey mood…emotional…staunch belief in their own superiority…😔 I think you may be part banana. I knew I used to see green light from your room all those times!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Ahem that’s just the name of the language. Obviously their one word isn’t ananab. That would be silly.


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